


Izuna's Breakdown™

by FiresFromOurHearts



Series: The Overworked Hikaku Chronicles [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: "Izuna has a crushhhh", Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Humor, Warring States Period (Naruto), sing-song voice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts
Summary: Remember how Hikaku scheduled four and a half hours of his day dedicated to Izuna's breakdown over liking Tobirama? Yeah. This is that.“Are we going to talk about your infatuation with Tobirama now?”Izuna squawks and flails around enough to send the couch toppling. The crash shakes the walls and the bowls bounce from the table onto the floor, and Hikaku laughs. “Well?” He demands as Izuna glares at him after they’ve rightened the couch. “Are we?”
Relationships: Uchiha Hikaku & Uchiha Izuna
Series: The Overworked Hikaku Chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070147
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61
Collections: Genuary 2021





	Izuna's Breakdown™

Hikaku is well and truly awake when the door is slammed open. The wall shudders with the movement and, for a heartbeat, Hikaku is worried that the whole thing will come down. But it’s weathered this before and, he’s sure, it’ll weather the same thing many more times and still remain standing.

He glances outside. The sun has well and truly risen now. He can’t see it, but the shadow from the nearby building has almost disappeared so it’s probably lunch time.

Well, that works out quite well doesn’t it? If it is Izuna here for his breakdown—which of course it is, who else could it be?—then Hikaku can also have lunch as well and combine the two, reducing the amount of wasted time today.

Or would be wasted time. Because Hikaku knows himself and he has a habit of forgetting to actually eat proper meals during the day and instead relies on ration bars and granola bars and an assortment of snacks. He snacks enough to make up for it, but it’s not something he’d promote for younger ninjas. Actually, there’s a lot that Hikaku wouldn’t recommend doing for younger ninjas. Perhaps he can serve as an example of what not to do?

He can almost imagine one of the mentors doing it. ‘This is a prime example of how not to look after yourself! Don’t do a single thing this shinobi does.’ It’d almost be an honour, except he knows full well both Izuna and Madara get used as examples of what not to do—‘scream like you can win a battle by doing it’—and so, really, it’s just an insult.

Considering his desk for a moment, Hikaku then places a paperweight on his current pile of work, because he knows that if something happens his office will become a disaster. The day Izuna decides to leave through the door rather than the window is the day that Hikaku will drop dead from a heart attack. Leaving the office door open, he enters the rest of the house on silent feet. After rounding the corner of the hallway, Hikaku finds himself staring at someone collapsed over his couch like they’d fainted there.

As he’d expected. Honestly. Could Izuna get more dramatic?

If the answer is yes, Hikaku doesn’t want to know. _Really_. He’d fight another plant monster made of goo before he changed his mind.

Rather than dealing with Izuna who looks like he fainted and might also be dead, Hikaku rummages around in the kitchen. His fridge is almost empty but there _is_ a basket of fresh fruit that someone left for him on the counter. It’s easy enough to make a quick fruit salad, though it could probably do with a few more ingredients. But, whatever. Hikaku can do his grocery store on—he runs through his mental plans for the next few days—in four days, maybe? As long as nothing comes out. Actually, maybe he can have it as a Chore for some mentees learning the basics of missions or something.

He walks over to the couch, nudges Izuna’s legs so he picks them up, and then sits down. “I’ve got lunch,” he says, rather than addressing Izuna’s… everything. Izuna resettles his legs so they’re over Hikaku’s lap and he places his bowl down. Izuna makes no other move, and Hikaku rolls his eyes. “What would Madara say if you didn’t eat lunch?”

 _That_ has Izuna sitting up, albeit grumpily and with an irritated expression, snatching the bowl from Hikaku’s hands. “Nii-san can go kiss his stupid boyfriend and his beautiful wife and leave me alone.”

Hikaku hums and Izuna clearly takes this as reason to go on, and so he keeps talking, mouth full and everything. It’s disgusting and Hikaku pays no attention to it. This is how it always goes. Izuna appears and Hikaku tries to rummage up some kind of snack for them—sometimes he succeeds and sometimes he really doesn’t, but at least it distracts him from whatever emotions he’s feeling and not dealing well with—and, as they eat, Izuna will grumble and rant and complain and say nothing of substance. It’s a waiting game.

They’re ninjas—it’s always a waiting game.

When they finish, Hikaku piles their bowls together, chopsticks placed inside, and stretches to put them on a table nearby. Then, he turns to look at Izuna who meets his gaze, before hurriedly looking away. Izuna craves attention, likes it when people pay attention to him—but only when he invites it. When it’s Madara or Hikaku or some of the older Uchihas who know him well, he looks away, worries about being _seen._

Sometimes Hikaku wants to take Izuna by the shoulders and tell him that there’s nothing about him that he hates. But that might too much. They’re close, family, but they don’t really discuss their feelings towards one another.

Regardless, he meets Izuna’s gaze and doesn’t let the topic be turned aside. Izuna is here for a reason. And Hikaku will see this through, whether it takes longer than he’d expected or if it takes less. “You came here for a reason,” he says, rather pointedly. Some days he’ll let Izuna stew with his thoughts, let him keep his silence, but today doesn’t feel like that.

Rather the room feels heavy, like the gravity has increased. Or maybe the air feels like it has lightning humming, live-wire beneath his fingers. There’s _something_ not quite normal. Something that indicates that this is important, that this is meaningful. And it’s not just the whole change in their peace—or lack of—plans, though that doubtless had an impact.

“What’s pulling at you today?”

Silence reigns for a moment and Hikaku wonders whether this will work or if he’ll have to use something other than words, but then Izuna speaks. “How long have I-” He cuts himself off abruptly, a sharp exhale accompanying it. Then, clearly changing tracks, he says, “Have you been planning on peace for a while?”

Hikaku considers the question, considers his actions yesterday, driven by emotions as they may have been. He can see how it’d be considered strange, from someone else’s perspective—especially Izuna and Madara, both of who are avid advocators of not-peace.

“Not exactly,” he says after a few beats to consider his own response and his own reasoning. “But the war was always going to end, either with peace or with the end of the Senju Clan. And even Hashirama Senju, as nice as he seems, would stand against us if we went after his clan. His brother too. So there’d be no winning in an outright battle, and both you and Madara prefer to not have a complete bloodbath for a battle. It’s better, that much is certain, but it means this war has become… cleaner, in a way.”

Izuna looks thoughtful, considerate, more so than he has in the past. And this… This feels like the right time to push. To say things that have been left unsaid or the things in the shadows. So Hikaku continues, doesn’t give himself time to doubt, and just pushes forward. “People tire of war when it’s not bloody, when it’s not driven by revenge so much but duty.” The words are hard, taste like dirt in his mouth, and- and Hikaku knows he has to say them. But not how. How does he say what’s changed? How do you say that everyone’s letting go of hate? He tries. This is Izuna, family, of course he tries. He can hardly do anything else.

“And when you’re not fighting out of hate, when you’re seeing people as _people_ rather than enemies—things change. Not- Not necessarily in battle or in the war itself. But on missions. It’s not exactly uncommon to work with Senju anymore and it’s one of the major reasons why we’re no longer fighting for missions—because it’s split up evenly or we take them together. And… Hi no Kuni is ours. Remember the nearby border that was being fought over? I took one of our war parties over there to push it back and so did the Senju and it was easier to join forces, rather than fight together.” He breathes out slowly, considers the words. “If you asked me to go to war against them, full-out, no holds barred, I would. I would without question. But if you asked whether I wanted peace, I would say yes too. We tire of war, of battle, of death. We’ve done this for generations and you and your brother have shown us we could be more too. People are starting to want that now.”

“So you’ve been planning this for a while then,” Izuna says and- and that’s not what Hikaku wants Izuna to take from that. It’s not- It’s not about plans or anything.

“Yes,” Hikaku says, because he won’t lie to Izuna. Not about this. “Just like I’ve planned for the Senju Clan to die out or be killed in battle or for us to massacre them in their sleep. Just like how I’ve planned for another famine to hit or a bushfire to come through our fields. I plan for possibilities. We all do. We’re _ninja_.”

Izuna breathes out slowly and his face-

It’s not quite expressionless. But Hikaku hesitates to read it; doesn’t want to see something and doesn’t want to read the wrong thing either.

“So,” he says at last, voice soft and it presses against Hikaku, feels like pressure against bruises, and he closes his eyes against its kindness, “what happens now? Do we have peace? Do our people live? Will there never be war again?”

These are not things Hikaku can promise. And- And it’s not Izuna asking him to do the impossible anyway. In the end, Izuna is Clan Heir and Hikaku is his cousin and not meant to be in charge and they can’t step away from their positions, even as family, even like this.

Hikaku opens his eyes, meets Izuna’s gaze and can hardly do anything less. This much- This much is owed. “If you want me to swear fealty, I will,” he says. It’s not the first time and it likely won’t be the last. It’s- They swear fealty, Hikaku to Izuna, swearing to follow his lead and pledging allegiance to the clan and nothing else. But Izuna does the same, promises to look after Hikaku and the clan. It’s meaningful. It strengthens bonds, promises that their relationship will never end, promises that they’re looking out for the other’s best interest.

“No,” Izuna says, reaching out. “No, that’s not-” He cuts himself off and clearly there’s something more here that Hikaku isn’t seeing. “Hikaku, I know you weren’t undermining the clan. You wouldn’t. This isn’t about that. It’s just- Did you want peace so badly you thought I wouldn’t listen to you? Does peace mean our people survive? Is this the best way forward? You’re good at thinking all of these things through. Thinking about impossibilities and then making them possible. Nii-san’s a dreamer but you’re not quite a dreamer either. You know this. I’m too pessimistic at times. I just don’t see a way forward. But you do. And it’s always worked for you before.”

“There’s a way forward,” Hikaku says, and the words are damning even though they’re full of hope. “And you’re a good Clan Heir, I would hardly follow you otherwise. Madara too. And you’re family. I trust you with myself and the clan—but this wouldn’t work unless everyone was behind it. We couldn’t be divided on this and none of you were willing to talk about it before. Not… Not like this. Properly.”

“Alright,” Izuna says quietly, a far cry from his normal self. “That’s- That’s good.”

Hikaku smiles as silence settles over them and-

Well. Izuna didn’t really come here to talk about peace and Hikaku still has time. So.

“Are we going to talk about your infatuation with Tobirama now?”

Izuna squawks and flails around enough to send the couch toppling. The crash shakes the walls and the bowls bounce from the table onto the floor, and Hikaku laughs. “Well?” He demands as Izuna glares at him after they’ve rightened the couch. “Are we?”

“I hate you,” Izuna announces to Hikaku, but also the world in general.

Hikaku hums. “Sure you do,” he says with an easy smile.

“Really,” Izuna says and he sounds so earnest—like how he sounds when he’s talking about his innocence to Madara after he’s dyed Madara’s hair a beautiful pink. Which. Really. Hikaku didn’t even _know_ colours could clash that badly! “I hate you even more than I hate the koi pond!”

 _That’s_ new. The koi pond has been there since before Hikaku. Before Izuna’s father in fact. The pond is old, the koi in it less so, but its use? That’s a Madara special. Also an Izuna special, though that seems to only be when Hikaku’s involved. Madara claims it only started serving its use when Izuna grew from a cute toddler into an uncontrollable brat.

But. Anyway. The koi pond. Izuna’s hate of it is well documented and Izuna’s claimed that nothing will ever be hated as much as that pond. He even documented such things. Actually documented that is, Izuna had overseen the record keepers it add it to their notes and he also burnt ‘I hate the koi pond’ into the ground when he was eight. He’d just discovered the joys of fire and it seemed like every second minute something near the Clan Head’s house was being lit on fire.

Sometimes Hikaku is mildly surprised any of them made it through childhood, even ignoring the whole war thing.

Actually, no, he’s completely surprised, there’s nothing mild about it. One of them surely should’ve killed the other, and yet they’re all alive. Not to say that there weren’t attempts—some creative, some awful, some downright impressive, and some involving a lot of fire.

…

 _Most_ involving a lot of fire.

However, none of that stops Hikaku from, teasingly, saying, “But definitely a lot more than you hate Tobirama, huh?”

Izuna screeches. It’s impressively high-pitched. Like. Hikaku’s ears are ringing. He hadn’t been aware Izuna could do that. “I do not like Tobirama!”

“Really? You looked awfully close yesterday for two people who don’t like each other.”

Once again, Izuna screeches. This time it’s more akin to a kettle whistling than any noise a human mouth could make. Despite his ringing ears, Hikaku is somewhat impressed. Now, if he could figure out a way to use it against Izuna…

“I don’t have feelings for him! Nope! Definitely not. I would never! Who’s to say YOU don’t have feelings for him?”

A rather weak response from Izuna. Izuna _knows_ what he’s feeling, but he’s trying to distract himself from them, trying to ignore them, repress them at worst. Well, this won’t be the first time Izuna’s dealt with his feelings this way.

More importantly, Izuna’s handed Hikaku the best response possible—undeniable evidence. “Well I wasn’t the one sticking my tongue does his throat yesterday, so I feel like that’s a rather important fact.”

“It might not have been out of attraction! Maybe I just like his muscles! Or felt like kissing someone! Maybe it was platonic!”

Sometimes Hikaku really, really wishes he could raise on eyebrow. Unfortunately, he just looks ridiculous. This is one of those moments that requires a raised eyebrow though. Hikaku feels like it would add a lot to the situation. _And_ it’d say everything for him. A win-win really.

“Liking his muscles is attraction of a kind,” Hikaku replies. “But that definitely wasn’t platonic.” Then, with a narrowed gaze, he adds, “Do you want it to mean something or don’t you?”

“I-” Izuna’s face is growing rather red and he’s beginning to look closer to a tomato than anything else. It’s entertaining, but also worrying.

Hikaku changes tracks. “Have you liked him for a while?” He asks, because clearly this has been going on for a while. Izuna’s not one to kiss someone out of nowhere, not really. “Or was it more a spur of the moment decision?”

Twisting before sliding down the couch, Izuna hides his face in the pillows and inches closer to Hikaku. “Can’t it be both?” He mumbles.

“Of course,” Hikaku says, running his hands through Izuna’s hair and slowly teasing apart knots. “None of that really matters though. What do you want? If… If there wasn’t a war between us or anything. What would you want? A single night? Multiple nights? An attempted relationship?”

Izuna hides his face for a moment longer. “I like him,” he says, and the words are weak. Fragile. Hikaku wants to pick up the glass edges and wrap them carefully. No one can stop the vulnerability of emotions though. Not even Madara and Izuna who frequently turn to repressing their emotions instead.

“Good thing we’re going for peace then,” Hikaku says. “You can actively do something about that, if you want. And he looks like he wants it too.”

“Did he?” Izuna asks, and his voice is once again fragile. Vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Hikaku says, trying to infuse his voice with all the sincerity and certainty he has. “He did. You could have something here Izuna. If you want. There’s nothing stopping you but yourself.”

“What about Nii-san?”

Probably the only valid problem, Hikaku reckons. But considering the whole Hashirama-Mito-Madara situation… “I think he’ll be fine,” Hikaku says. “He has his own Senjus to deal with.”

Izuna’s head shoots up. “What do you mean? Is Nii-san in trouble? Do we need to fight the Senju again?”

“No,” Hikaku says slowly. “I don’t think Madara is in trouble.” Any trouble he gets in, Hikaku privately thinks to himself, will likely be of Mito’s doing and Madara can certainly get himself out of it. Hikaku’s not dealing with it.

He refuses to even make time for it. If any of that whole… _thing_ comes to him, it can warn him in advance, get a meeting, and complete some of his paperwork. Then, and only then, will Hikaku even think about dealing with them.

“You’re sure?” Izuna asks, worry almost fully hidden in his voice.

Hikaku despairs for both Izuna and Madara. They’re both smart. Good in social situations too. But when it comes to the other, they’re hopeless at spotting attraction or anything indicating romance. You’d think that as ninjas they’d be better. Yet it seems they’re always blinded when it comes to family.

Then again, Hikaku knows he himself is blinded by the same. Not so much with romantic relationships and whatnot. But he’d never believe they’d do something horrendous. It’s impossible to think about. Then again, thinking about plant monsters, Izuna kissing Tobirama, and the whole Hashirama-Mito-Madara thing had once been things Hikaku never would’ve considered either. Impossible things.

But the world has a way of turning the impossible into possible. Hikaku would know too. The amount of paperwork he gets each day should be impossible to complete and yet, he does it each day.

Speaking of paperwork, Izuna’s gone over his allotted four and a half hours—which is Hikaku’s fault, technically, but he’s never going to say that. “Alright, if you’re staying, I’m bringing out paperwork to complete,” he tells Izuna who looks half-asleep.

Izuna jerks upright. Allergic to the word paperwork as he is. “I’ve just realised I’ve got something to do,” he says. “You know how it goes. You take one minute off and suddenly you have to give wood to the plants and water to the fire and give the fish their fertiliser. I’ll see you at dinner. Bye!”

Before Hikaku can even say another word, Izuna is gone. The office window is open and there’s wind stirring at the paper. Hikaku rolls his eyes. _Honestly_. Izuna is such a child. A little bit of paperwork doesn’t hurt anyone.

Oh well, it’s paperwork someone has to do. Hikaku might as well be that person.

**Author's Note:**

> How much worldbuilding can I fit into this? Quite a bit it turns out. Was I prepared for this? No but my brain knew what was up apparently. And it was Uchiha Clan worldbuilding. 
> 
> In case you were wondering, Chores are going to be like your D-rank missions but Uchiha Clan specific. I think I saw this in a fic eons ago? And I kinda just stole it for this bit, not going to lie. 
> 
> Listen. The koi pond must be mentioned at least once somewhere. I feel like that's just a staple of any fics with Izuna or Madara in them.
> 
> Anyway, only a short note from me today. Enjoy! You'll probably see the next one of these shortly as this one's a bit late thanks to work and everything else.


End file.
